Party Invit

Happy New Year everyone! I know its been awile since I posted.. This dang thing ate the last post I wrote and I don't remeber what it said.. Anyways... I'm being dragged to a party tonight.. whoo hoo.. I was kinda excited about it earlier, but now I'm not sure I want to go.. well not much is new here. I'm moving back home in Feb. Me and my sis are going to make a road trip out of it. that will be fun.. Anyways I need to go start getting ready for this party..

Doctor and new job

So, OK I'm really glad I got this job. So far it has been quite lovely. Its been fun and yeah I am meeting new people. A few I wouldn't mind hanging out with outside of work.. I just hope I'm doing a good job. This always happens when I plan on moving.. I start having a life and making new friends.. Whatev! That's life I guess.. Anyways I go to the doctor again tomorrow for a check up on on my shoulder.. Good thing too, its been hurting pretty good. Guess from all the cleaning and moving around at the new job.. Anyways I should be in bed. Tomorrow is also my first day back at school this week. I had some kind of flu or something that started Monday. I tried to go to work Monday morning, but boss lady told me to go home. She didn't want to catch it.. I meant to go today, but the cold medicine I took last night kicked my ass and I didn't wake up till 2 this afternoon. So anyways I was trying to say goodnight..

Yummy Smells

You know what else I miss from Oregon? Cinnabon. OK so I like never really ate there, but the smell is heavenly. And watching them make the cinnamon rolls was cool too. Oh and the pretzel stores.. And coffee shacks on every corner. Yum! I'm hungry now..

Back to School

Well, first day back to work was very painful! I wore the sling the Dr. gave me just in case one of the kids bumped me in the hallways. Well at lunch time all the kids go to the gym and I was in there with the student I work with. Some of the kids were playing dodge ball. Guess what happened!? I got hit right in the chest by one of those flying balls. It hit me pretty hard.. A few inches to the right and I would be looking at assult charges(cuz I would of kicked whose ever ass it was that threw the damn ball)! I got a bad headache on my right side and some throbbing pains in my chest. The headache is gone, but the pain in my chest still comes and goes.. What a first day back, huh?!

Back Home

OK, well after spending two weeks with davids parents, I am finally back at my place and am going back to work tomorrow. You know how they say there is nothing like coming home after a long time away? Yeah well whoever said that didnt live alone! Its so lonely here.. I miss davids parents already! That and I got woken up by my neighbors blasting their radio and their headboard banging against the wall. Gee I wonder what they were doing?! Seriously! No respect I tell you! Anyways I'm gonna try and get back to sleep.

Road Trip

OK, so here is my bus adventure from last summer. I have it written down in my journal at home, so this is from memory. I will try my best to remember it all.. Here it goes:

OK it started off by the bus leaving here being 30 min late. Once on the bus it wasn't so bad, till we got to St. Louis. When I got there I was off by myself sitting, waiting for the connecting bus to arrive and got hit on be some guy, who was getting on the same bus I was waiting for. He wanted me to sit with him.. Uh, no! So I made sure I was at the back of the line and , well, by doing that I didn't get to get on the bus at all! They over booked it or whatever and did not have another bus going my way until morning. So me and one other person had to sit there for like 5 or 6 hours waiting.. The security guard told us not to leave the station unless we wanted to get robbed or raped. Great fun. Well me and this other person, I forget what his name was, took turns watching each others luggage so we could go out and smoke. He was going to Portland Oregon, so we would be on the bus the whole way together. When we finally got on I had to sit next to this guy who, every time he fell asleep, would lean over onto my shoulder. So Portland guy joked and kept calling him my boyfriend. All through Wyoming I had no cell service, so that sucked. Some where along the line I started talking to this guy named Chris. He was cool. He was going to Salem Oregon. At one point there was this group of like 10 or 15 teenage girls getting on so Chris and I decided to sit together so we wouldn't be paired up with those girls. We were sitting in the back and the bus driver came back and said that the girls all wanted to sit together and he asked us to move. Oh we were pissed. Not just us but everyone who had to move.


But before all that, in Denver, before I meet Chris, I was still with Portland guy and because we were late leaving St. Louis, we were late getting to Denver and had to sit there for 8 hours. Well Portland guy didn't want to sleep in a station again. So me him and another chick went and got a motel room.. Portland guy and that other chick, well they hooked up. It was great fun.. really.. OK, now back to Chris and the rest of it. Somewhere in Utah we picked up this family. And WOW! They were something else! The boy was like 15 or 16 and would not shut up. He kept going on about yu-gi-oh cards! And we over heard his dad talking about how him and his son are not allowed back into Canada. What the hell do you have to do to get kicked out of a country?! Anyways, we were stopped somewhere and his dad was talking about our next stop and said it was "Only a can and a half of beer away". Now I have lived in the south for almost 6 years, and I do believe that was the most southern, white-trashy thing I have ever heard! Me and Chris were like OK.. We're getting back on the bus now bye. I also met 2 gay guys on this trip and one of them decided to throw pennies at that kid who wouldn't shut up. It didn't work.. Well finally they got off and so did one of the gay guys. I ended up sitting next to this old lady who kept talking about her cats (yes I am aware that someday that will most likely be me, that's why I talked to her..). I keep trying to give Chris and Max (that is the gay guy) a look for help, but they didn't notice. Max was to busy trying to talk a guy into being his nanny. Max told Chris and me that he wanted to keep us.. =) Well we finally made it to Portland. I was bout 7 hours behind, but made it. My mom picked me up there instead of me having to endure the bus ride to Eugene. We almost didn't make in time for me to catch that bus anyways. I don't remember the trip back, which means it was uneventful.. oh well.. That's just one of my many Adventures! I have a few more from train trips many years ago!! But another time maybe..

Surgery

So I survived my surgery.. still in some pain, but they gave me some good drugs. All yesterday the right side of my face all the way to my shoulder was numb.. Its an interesting feeling to have feeling in the bottom part of your ear, but not the top half... That was when the numdness started to wear off.. Well anyways, I'll update later when I'm not to tired.

New Friends

Ok, so I went out friday and found out my cute bartender guy has a girl :-\ so I sat there till almost closing time and this chick came up to me and said she decided I was gonna go with her when she left. Her group was headed to another bar. So I went. Found out she's from Washington. Way cool! I had fun. All the bartenders and waitresses from the other bar came too so that was fun. News on other stuff.. I go in for pre-op tomorrow. I cant wait for this surgery to be done with!

Shoulder problems and moving on

I finally know what is wrong with my shoulder.. Its something called Surpaspinatus Syndrome. Basically there's a space in between the top of the shoulder and your arm where they meet that is where the tendon that makes your arm move. That space on my shoulder is too narrow and it pinches my tendon every time i move my arm. So I have to find out if my insurrance will cover the MRI and a surgery.. As for everything else in my life, I went out friday by myself and I think the bartender was flirting with me. He is really cute too! So I went back on Sat night but he was not there. I stayed for a bit anyways and got hit on by a guy who didnt speak much english. Great fun. He bought me two drinks though.. I'm going back Fri night in hopes my cute guy will be there..

Poem

A tale as old as time,
As soon as your guard is down,
The enemy penetrates and rips
Apart everything inside.
Taking only what he wants,
Leaving behind, chaos,
Destruction, and death.
If you look closely, you can see,
The trail of blood from my heart,
That he ripped out and took with him.

Love is a war in the battlefields of life.
Love can not be trusted.
For it was love that did this to me.
He is out there, looking for his next victim.
Beware!!

~BeccaLyn~

Bus Trip

Well, I'm off on another adventure. In a few hours I will be on a Greyhound bus making my way to Arizona to see my dad. Should be fun.. My last bus trip was oh so fun! Ha! Not really.. It was full of adventure that's for sure! I'll have to post that story sometime.. I will try and keep things updated during my travels..

Deaf School

Well, hello all! I'm writing from the dorm at Deaf School. This is our last week here, and I really wish I could just keep coming back for the summer! I have been able to keep my mind occupied during the weeks. Its been fun as well. I have finally been able to have some what of a conversation with Donald ( the cute guy that works in the boys dorm). Tomorrow will be the last day I get to work with him. Anyways that's all for now.

Summer Camp

Well, the first week of summer camp went great. I picked up a lot more signs and by the end of the week was more open about signing while speaking. I think my kid picked up a few more signs as well. I know he had a blast. We both did! There was this little boy there, his name is Umer, He was such a cutie! He was always walking around with this scowl on his face, so when he would look at me I would tell him to smile and he would say no, but in the end I would bug him enough to get a smile out of him. There was also this guy named Donald. He works in the dorm (watches over the boys for most of the day and evenings). When I first met him I thought oh wow, he's really kinda cute. But then I thought there's no way he would ever like me. I wouldn't be able to hold a conversation with him( he's deaf). So I spent most of my week drooling over Donald. I'll try to keep updating during the week. I found out there is a computer in the dorms I can use.

Last days of school

It is so hot outside! We are having a field day. The school rented a bunch of those moon bounce things. We had one that is a maze, then there was an obstacle course and a slide and of course the classic moon bounce.. We have been outside all day! It's like 90 something degrees out there. I think all the kids are melting. They are all ready to go inside. There are still a few trying to beat the heat and keep playing, but most have found a shady spot to sit in. I think I burnt my shoulders. I would of worn shorts today, but I didn't think I should scare the children(I have not shaved in like a month..). So yeah, it's been great fun today. Tomorrow is our last day of school. 2 weeks after that I will be headed for summer camp. At least I have 2 weeks off before I have to go to camp! =) I just realized how sticky my hands are. The kids had freezer pops and I was cutting the ends off for them. The scissors got real sticky, thus, so did my hand. Anyways, that's all for now.

Memories

I was talking to my mom the other day and we were discussing what my earliest memory was. I told here It was my oldest sister handcuffed to the piano. I also remember playing hide and go seek with her and not being able to find her, because she ran away. I told here, no wonder I turned out the way I did. That's some traumatizing stuff for a kid. I couldn't of been more than 5 or 6 at the time.. There is so much of my child hood that I have blocked out. Some of the things I do remember, no one else does. I wanna say that I have some deep seeded issues, but really, they aren't that deep and I know the cause of all my issues. Rachel. Rachel is my twin sister. When we were 7 months old she got sick and ended up losing her hearing. So it was "Awe poor little deaf girl". I would get pushed aside. When we turned 8 she had a near drowning incident. The results from that were some brain damage and seizures. So she became the poor little deaf girl with seizures, and as for me I got pushed aside even further. By the time I reached middle school, I really had a lot of resentment towards her. My mom had tried to have a special day once a month with me but that didn't last very long. During my 8th grade year my sister became very violent with her behavior. She would try to beat the shit out of us if she didn't get what she wanted. Most of the time I stepped in and took all the beatings for my mom. I realized at one point during that time, that I had made many wishes to take away every thing that was wrong with Rachel and have it put on me instead. I would say to myself, "Why couldn't I be Rachel". Towards the end of middle school and for all of my high school years my mom was never there. She went back to school. Most of the time I would end up walking home from school because my mother would forget about picking me up, or forget about giving my bus money. I didn't like my mom back then. She would never let me go anywhere or do anything. She would accuse me of doing all kinds of things. Finally I started to do them. I skipped most of my 9th grade year. For 10th grade my mom sent me to a private school. I hated her for that. She took me away from all my friends again. She kept thinking I was going to end up like my older brother and sister. She didn't trust me. I hated that. I didn't do anything to bad. Except for the skipping school thing I hadn't done anything to make her not trust me. Oh gosh, I'm sorry for going on like this, I forgot what it was I had started to talk about before all this came out. I was in a good mood early, then all of a sudden I just started wanting to cry. There's just a lot going on right now. Last week of school, and stuff in my home life. It's stressful..

Graduation ceremony

Tomorrow we have our ceremony thingy. Today I learned that I will be singing a song with the teacher, Mrs. Tiffany. She and I will be singing one part of a song while 6 or 7 kids sing another part of it. Great fun! I was going to go to davids neice,Lakota's, kindergarten graduation tonight, but my gas light came on yesterday. I would probably make it up there but not back. Ah hell it might be fine. I love that kid! I can make it up there and back but I wouldn't be able to drive much after that. Good thing I get paid soon!! Well anyways. I was just trying to kill some time till school got out.

Jail time

So, about a month and a half ago I got a ticket for not having insurance and my tags being expired. I had to go to court yesterday. I sat there for an hour and a half before they got to me. The judge didn't even really look at my papers or anything. He just asked me If I plead guilty or not guilty to both of my charges. I plead guilty. He told me if I needed to make payment arrangements I needed to sit down and wait to talk to the sheriff. So I did. The next thing I knew me and 2 other girls that were waiting also, got wisked off to the back and ended up in a holding cell. They didn't take my purse or my cell phone, so I started texting my mother to let her know where I was. Before she could answer another girl got brought in and she had her phone in her hand so the guard or whatever he was said he needed to take it away from her. He then looked in the cell and said "any one else have a phone?" I just kinda looked at him stupidly, hoping he wouldn't take my purse away from me. He did. There went my phone.. It was like an hour later that I got to make my calls. I called Kate since I knew she would answer and she could tell David or whoever. I needed $215 dollars to get out. David's mom bailed me out.. She ended up paying like $285. Thank you Mom!!( I will get you paid back. It may take a bit..) They served lunch while I was there. Jail food is not the best.. I was so close to being booked! The lady guard was all about putting me in stripes (Yes, in the state of Arkansas, the prisoners wear stripes..) I was in there for like 2 and a half hours.. It really sucked. At one point there was 5 of us in that itty-bitty cell.. I was the only white girl. It was a little before one when David came and sprang me out of jail. I had already called the school and told them I got held up at the appointment I had and would be there when I could. Ha! I skipped out on work for the rest of the day! Shh don't tell anyone! So I call my mother once I got out to let her know I was ok. She had made some comment about that's as far as she ever got as well ( referring to the holding cell). I about lost it. If you know my mother at all, she can be real over protective. I was like not allowed to go any where. Me and my friends had to sneak out of the house after she was asleep just so we could get a slurpee at the local 7-11. My mother went to jail for shoplifting!! I couldn't believe it! Lately the more I talk to her, more stories about her back in the day come out. I also found out she smoked pot.. Well anyways, that's all for now!

Line Dancing

Next week is our last week of school and on Wednesday we will be having a graduation ceremony type of thing. All year the school has had sort of a cowboy theme for everything and the teacher in my class thought the kids should do some songs and a dance for the parents at the ceremony. So all day we have been learning how to line dance. Usually with something like this I just sit back and watch, but my kid wasn't picking it up. So I had to get in line right next to him and dance along. It seems everyday that I'm down in the south, I become a bit more southern. Today I caught myself saying tin instead of ten. Its sad, really, it is... Even my writting is starting to sound southern. If I don't look over what I have written, there might me a "reckon" or a "fixin to" or a "done did" in there somewhere.. Oh well.

Lunch and Summer Camp

We had a luncheon today for all the teachers. We went to a mexican restaurant in the next town over. It was great fun! I ended up sitting in a corner by myself. No one would talk to me or even look at me. Well what did I expect? They don't talk to me in school, why would they talk to me outside of school? I had a 3 hour meeting yesterday for my kid. I will be attending summer camp with him for 3 weeks at the deaf school. Thats like 3 hours away.. Of course it had to be during the time I planned on going to see my dad. So I said thats fine I can change that around. Then my Supervisor said that I need to work with my kid after we get back from camp. She wants me to work with him all summer. Where the hell is my vacation? I know I don't work like supper hard or anything, but still I need a vacation! I already had plans. In June I was going to see dad and either July or August I was going to see mom. Now I can't do either!

Memphis in May

The first night of the Beale street music fest was AWESOME!! We had to stand in line for almost 2 hours, but it was worth it. We got there way early which was good cuz traffic was backed way up and the line was really long. It was such a hippie fest I was having flashbacks to my days in Oregon. All the little tents with the hippie clothes and what not, it was like walking around downtown Eugene during the Saturday market. We got to see Puddle of Mud play and Jason Maraz, Buckcherry, Marty Casey and the lovehammers and I got to see a little bit of Train. Right around the time Train started David and I got separated. We had a meeting point and I went to it and stood there for about 5 min before I said fuck it. The only band I really cared about seeing was Train. So I went to the stage Train was playing on and was there for maybe 10 min before I thought I should go back and look for David. Went back to our meeting place, he still wasn't there so I went back to see Train. David finally called me (I would of called him, but I knew he left his phone in the car), Well they wouldn't lest him back in so we had to leave. I got to hear maybe 3 songs from Train.. After that we went to the Gay bar. They had a drag show that night. Great fun!! We didn't get home till 2:30 slept till 2 the next day and headed back. Saturday wasn't as much fun.. It rained. And the bands they had playing really sucked. So we went and walked up and down Beale Street. That's where everyone was... Anyways we left early that day and David didn't want to go back on Sunday which kinda pissed me off. I bought tickets for the whole weekend. If I had known that he didn't want to go all three days I would of only got tickets for 2 days. And If I had known sat night that he didn't want to go Sunday I would of sold my tickets while we were down there... I understand he was tired, so was I. My legs are killing me from all the walking we did, but he should of let me know before I bought the tickets that he didn't want to go all three days. I couldn't find anyone else to go with me so the tickets were wasted..

School Pictures

So, we got our school pictures back today.. I never could take a good school picture. This one isn't as bad as my 9th grade pic, but its still bad.. Oh wait, David and I are going to Memphis in May. Its 3 days of concerts and stuff. Over 60 bands. I so can't wait. It's this friday! =)

Arbor Day

Today my school celebrated Arbor Day. Smokey Bear came out for all the kids to see. He gave everyone of them a hug. A group of kids in my class pushed me in to his arms. So today I got a hug from Smokey Bear. After everyone was done hugging the guy in the bear suit we all went out and planted some trees. Did I mention it is really hot today? So yeah while we were waiting for our class to plant their tree I noticed a guy that I didn't see earlier in the assembly (he must of been the guy in the bear outfit) who looked like someone I knew a few years ago. I didn't think it was possible since I don't know anyone in this part of Arkansas except for my 2 friends. Well I was right. It was Cameron, who I worked with at Burger King like 4 years ago. Last time I saw him I had just moved to Stuttgart and was working for KFC. I spent the night at a fellow KFC employee's house in Cabot. When I woke up Cameron was standing over me. Weird. We use to hang out all the time.. He was at my school because he is now a park ranger guy for this area. He lives about an hour from where I live. It was very weird seeing him here.. It's been a long time since I have seen any of my old Burger King friends..

Vegas Baby!

I was going through some of my pictures last night, when I found the ones from my Vegas trip.
I went to Las Vegas with my dad for spring break when I was 16. My dad being real into poetry and what not, we went there for a week long poetry jam. It was great fun. On the train from Oregon to Cali I meet 2 teenagers about my age that were going to Cali for their spring break. We had the whole bottom car of the train to ourselves. They brought tequila. That was the first time I ever got drunk. It was bad.. Anyways the guy on the left was at the poetry jam and I had this huge crush on him. All I know about him is his name ( wich I won't tell) and that he lives in Canada. Once we were in Vegas I ended up sharing a Hotel room with 2 people I didn't know, Greg and Zoe. I don't really remeber why.. But Greg and Zoe were cool, I liked them. Infact me and Zoe kept in touch for a while.. Greg, Zoe, That guy above myself and a few others took a day trip to see the Red Rocks. Let me tell ya, they are red and they are rocks. Really no point in seeing them unless you have a fetish for rocks.. But on the way there some of the guy's decided they wanted to smoke some pot. I didn't really care, but Zoe got all kinds of mad. Then she told my dad that they smoked infront of me and he got all kinds of mad. Well that night Greg and I went to get some food. No one else was around, so it was just us. I had to ask my daddy's permission first of course. Wouldn't want to send me out on the strip, with a guy who smoke pot now would he? Let's forget the fact that I'm sharing a room with the guy. But anyways We talked and stuff. He apologized, I said I didn't really care. When I pulle dout a cig he was like OMG! you smoke and I was like OMG you want one? Everything was cool after that.
The other picture is of a really awesome store. It's called the Attic and they sell vintage everything. That store was so cool. Infact if I ever go back to Vegas it will be so I can shop there!! Well that and the fact that I'm now old enough to walk around in a casino by myself is a plus. Well anyways that was my trip to Vegas. I'm sure I left some stuff out.. This is everything that stood out enough in my mind to remeber..

Leave it for the birds

We've had an interesting morning so far. We had a bird in our office (the room I share with the resource teacher). We had a couple of kids in the room at the time. It was great fun.. Damn bird scared the crap out of me. I don't know how it got into our room, it just kinda fell out of the ceiling, I guess. SO anyways, thats my excieting news for the morning. Oh and momma cat came home yesterday, after being gone for a week. She has some wounds on her face, nothing to bad. She must have been in some kind of fight. Her wounds look ok now, but I'm sure a couple days ago they looked real bad..

Sticky dog

We've been doing testing all week. Great fun! Because my kid is so special we get to go to another room and take his test. Wich means we will be done a day earlier then the rest (we spent more time each day on it) so whoo hoo! We also get to have a 4 day weekend this week. Yea! I so didn't want to get out of bed today. I almost over slept, but my dog woke me up. I heard him out in the living room destroying my stuff. He started to eat my CD case. I stopped him before he could eat any of the CD's. Yesterday when I got home he had torn up one of my sign books ( it really belongs to the school, can't return it now..), got into my candy stash and ate 5 of the tootsie roll pops I had. I know he did too.. I had to pick the evidence out of his fur! His paws are so sticky and I have no way of giving him a bath. He is to big for my kitchen sink and I have no bathtub. I guess he stays sticky till the next time we go to Blythevile. Hey, maybe he will attract ants and they will carry him off? One amusing story about the mutt is on Monday the dumb dog got his head stuck in my toilet. Hee Hee! Dumb dog!
Anyways I was going to post some pictures of my babies ( the kittens). I took a few pictures of them last night, but they wern't very good.. I cut their heads off.. I'll try again tonight.. Well I guess I better go.

Daddy

I forgot to mention that they let my dad out of the hospital late last week. He is doing much better. I can hold a conversation with him for more than 5 min. It's good! That's my dad. Here is a link to his poetry page Donn Deedon It's got a lot of his stuff and some from other people including my sister and myself. Well anyways, schools out, so I'm gonna go home and feed some whinny kittens..

Oregon

I saw this on an Oregon Coast website some where and thought it was cute ( the picture on the left). I love stupid silly signs like this. I miss the ocean so bad! I think the only thing that could get me to move back to Oregon would be the scenery. Don't get me wrong, I love my family and all, but after 2 weeks I'd be ready to pack up and leave again! Leigh Keeps asking me if someday we could move out of the south. He wants to go back to San Fran. I told him I don't care where we go to as long as its on the coast! My mom takes weekend trips all the time and sends me pictures. I think I have about 70 on my bedroom wall. Its not the same as being there, but it helps me get through till the next time I go..

Phone calls

Well I finally called and talk to my dad. I've been putting it of since I found out he was in the hospital again. My father and I have never really been close. I have lived with my mom most of my life, and dad was never really around. The past few years or so he has really been trying to make up for it. I didn't want to call because it breaks my heart to hear him talk the way he does. Since his stroke back in July, he just mumbles a lot and its hard to understand him. He mumbles and trails off. He use to keep you on the phone for hours, now I'm lucky if I get a 5 min conversation out of him. Just talking on the phone wears him out.. What I was able to understand in the minute conversation we had today, was that he will be going into surgery today or tomorrow. For what, I don't know. He said he was in a lot of pain.. I don't know what to do, or what to say to him other than "get better" or "take care of yourself" wich at this point just sounds stupid.