December 24th is getting closer and closer. When I was a kid Christmas eve was the greatest ever. We would go to church, and then come home and all us kids got to sleep in hay on the living room floor. On Christmas morning, we had to wait for everyone to get up before we could unwrap presents and dig through our stockings.. My dad was always the last one up, so we would go and jump on the bed to try and wake him up..
As I have gotten older, the magic Christmas eve once held has started to wear off.. I still love Christmas and decorating and everything, but its not the same as when I was a kid.
This year I am actually dreading that day.. You see, Christmas eve is not only the day where I use to sleep in hay and try to stay awake all night for Santa to come, it is also the day my father was born.. I know my dad is someplace better, where he is not in pain anymore, but I still miss him. I have his poetry cd on my ipod, I have just gotten to the point where I don't skip over his stuff anymore.. It was too painful to hear his voice for the longest time.. and now one of my favorite holiday's is going to be sad instead of happy.. I know I should just go on like I use to, that's what he would want, but its hard. I got to thinking about the family members that send Christmas cards my way, and I will be getting one less this year.. I won't be receiving a card from my dad this year. Not a card or a phone call..
I hope everyone else out there can enjoy their Christmas.. I will do my best. After all I do have a new man in my life and this will be our first Christmas together. Guess I will just have to make some new memories..