Thursday, May 25, 2006

Last days of school

It is so hot outside! We are having a field day. The school rented a bunch of those moon bounce things. We had one that is a maze, then there was an obstacle course and a slide and of course the classic moon bounce.. We have been outside all day! It's like 90 something degrees out there. I think all the kids are melting. They are all ready to go inside. There are still a few trying to beat the heat and keep playing, but most have found a shady spot to sit in. I think I burnt my shoulders. I would of worn shorts today, but I didn't think I should scare the children(I have not shaved in like a month..). So yeah, it's been great fun today. Tomorrow is our last day of school. 2 weeks after that I will be headed for summer camp. At least I have 2 weeks off before I have to go to camp! =) I just realized how sticky my hands are. The kids had freezer pops and I was cutting the ends off for them. The scissors got real sticky, thus, so did my hand. Anyways, that's all for now.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006


I was talking to my mom the other day and we were discussing what my earliest memory was. I told here It was my oldest sister handcuffed to the piano. I also remember playing hide and go seek with her and not being able to find her, because she ran away. I told here, no wonder I turned out the way I did. That's some traumatizing stuff for a kid. I couldn't of been more than 5 or 6 at the time.. There is so much of my child hood that I have blocked out. Some of the things I do remember, no one else does. I wanna say that I have some deep seeded issues, but really, they aren't that deep and I know the cause of all my issues. Rachel. Rachel is my twin sister. When we were 7 months old she got sick and ended up losing her hearing. So it was "Awe poor little deaf girl". I would get pushed aside. When we turned 8 she had a near drowning incident. The results from that were some brain damage and seizures. So she became the poor little deaf girl with seizures, and as for me I got pushed aside even further. By the time I reached middle school, I really had a lot of resentment towards her. My mom had tried to have a special day once a month with me but that didn't last very long. During my 8th grade year my sister became very violent with her behavior. She would try to beat the shit out of us if she didn't get what she wanted. Most of the time I stepped in and took all the beatings for my mom. I realized at one point during that time, that I had made many wishes to take away every thing that was wrong with Rachel and have it put on me instead. I would say to myself, "Why couldn't I be Rachel". Towards the end of middle school and for all of my high school years my mom was never there. She went back to school. Most of the time I would end up walking home from school because my mother would forget about picking me up, or forget about giving my bus money. I didn't like my mom back then. She would never let me go anywhere or do anything. She would accuse me of doing all kinds of things. Finally I started to do them. I skipped most of my 9th grade year. For 10th grade my mom sent me to a private school. I hated her for that. She took me away from all my friends again. She kept thinking I was going to end up like my older brother and sister. She didn't trust me. I hated that. I didn't do anything to bad. Except for the skipping school thing I hadn't done anything to make her not trust me. Oh gosh, I'm sorry for going on like this, I forgot what it was I had started to talk about before all this came out. I was in a good mood early, then all of a sudden I just started wanting to cry. There's just a lot going on right now. Last week of school, and stuff in my home life. It's stressful..

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Graduation ceremony

Tomorrow we have our ceremony thingy. Today I learned that I will be singing a song with the teacher, Mrs. Tiffany. She and I will be singing one part of a song while 6 or 7 kids sing another part of it. Great fun! I was going to go to davids neice,Lakota's, kindergarten graduation tonight, but my gas light came on yesterday. I would probably make it up there but not back. Ah hell it might be fine. I love that kid! I can make it up there and back but I wouldn't be able to drive much after that. Good thing I get paid soon!! Well anyways. I was just trying to kill some time till school got out.

Jail time

So, about a month and a half ago I got a ticket for not having insurance and my tags being expired. I had to go to court yesterday. I sat there for an hour and a half before they got to me. The judge didn't even really look at my papers or anything. He just asked me If I plead guilty or not guilty to both of my charges. I plead guilty. He told me if I needed to make payment arrangements I needed to sit down and wait to talk to the sheriff. So I did. The next thing I knew me and 2 other girls that were waiting also, got wisked off to the back and ended up in a holding cell. They didn't take my purse or my cell phone, so I started texting my mother to let her know where I was. Before she could answer another girl got brought in and she had her phone in her hand so the guard or whatever he was said he needed to take it away from her. He then looked in the cell and said "any one else have a phone?" I just kinda looked at him stupidly, hoping he wouldn't take my purse away from me. He did. There went my phone.. It was like an hour later that I got to make my calls. I called Kate since I knew she would answer and she could tell David or whoever. I needed $215 dollars to get out. David's mom bailed me out.. She ended up paying like $285. Thank you Mom!!( I will get you paid back. It may take a bit..) They served lunch while I was there. Jail food is not the best.. I was so close to being booked! The lady guard was all about putting me in stripes (Yes, in the state of Arkansas, the prisoners wear stripes..) I was in there for like 2 and a half hours.. It really sucked. At one point there was 5 of us in that itty-bitty cell.. I was the only white girl. It was a little before one when David came and sprang me out of jail. I had already called the school and told them I got held up at the appointment I had and would be there when I could. Ha! I skipped out on work for the rest of the day! Shh don't tell anyone! So I call my mother once I got out to let her know I was ok. She had made some comment about that's as far as she ever got as well ( referring to the holding cell). I about lost it. If you know my mother at all, she can be real over protective. I was like not allowed to go any where. Me and my friends had to sneak out of the house after she was asleep just so we could get a slurpee at the local 7-11. My mother went to jail for shoplifting!! I couldn't believe it! Lately the more I talk to her, more stories about her back in the day come out. I also found out she smoked pot.. Well anyways, that's all for now!

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Line Dancing

Next week is our last week of school and on Wednesday we will be having a graduation ceremony type of thing. All year the school has had sort of a cowboy theme for everything and the teacher in my class thought the kids should do some songs and a dance for the parents at the ceremony. So all day we have been learning how to line dance. Usually with something like this I just sit back and watch, but my kid wasn't picking it up. So I had to get in line right next to him and dance along. It seems everyday that I'm down in the south, I become a bit more southern. Today I caught myself saying tin instead of ten. Its sad, really, it is... Even my writting is starting to sound southern. If I don't look over what I have written, there might me a "reckon" or a "fixin to" or a "done did" in there somewhere.. Oh well.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Lunch and Summer Camp

We had a luncheon today for all the teachers. We went to a mexican restaurant in the next town over. It was great fun! I ended up sitting in a corner by myself. No one would talk to me or even look at me. Well what did I expect? They don't talk to me in school, why would they talk to me outside of school? I had a 3 hour meeting yesterday for my kid. I will be attending summer camp with him for 3 weeks at the deaf school. Thats like 3 hours away.. Of course it had to be during the time I planned on going to see my dad. So I said thats fine I can change that around. Then my Supervisor said that I need to work with my kid after we get back from camp. She wants me to work with him all summer. Where the hell is my vacation? I know I don't work like supper hard or anything, but still I need a vacation! I already had plans. In June I was going to see dad and either July or August I was going to see mom. Now I can't do either!

Monday, May 08, 2006

Memphis in May

The first night of the Beale street music fest was AWESOME!! We had to stand in line for almost 2 hours, but it was worth it. We got there way early which was good cuz traffic was backed way up and the line was really long. It was such a hippie fest I was having flashbacks to my days in Oregon. All the little tents with the hippie clothes and what not, it was like walking around downtown Eugene during the Saturday market. We got to see Puddle of Mud play and Jason Maraz, Buckcherry, Marty Casey and the lovehammers and I got to see a little bit of Train. Right around the time Train started David and I got separated. We had a meeting point and I went to it and stood there for about 5 min before I said fuck it. The only band I really cared about seeing was Train. So I went to the stage Train was playing on and was there for maybe 10 min before I thought I should go back and look for David. Went back to our meeting place, he still wasn't there so I went back to see Train. David finally called me (I would of called him, but I knew he left his phone in the car), Well they wouldn't lest him back in so we had to leave. I got to hear maybe 3 songs from Train.. After that we went to the Gay bar. They had a drag show that night. Great fun!! We didn't get home till 2:30 slept till 2 the next day and headed back. Saturday wasn't as much fun.. It rained. And the bands they had playing really sucked. So we went and walked up and down Beale Street. That's where everyone was... Anyways we left early that day and David didn't want to go back on Sunday which kinda pissed me off. I bought tickets for the whole weekend. If I had known that he didn't want to go all three days I would of only got tickets for 2 days. And If I had known sat night that he didn't want to go Sunday I would of sold my tickets while we were down there... I understand he was tired, so was I. My legs are killing me from all the walking we did, but he should of let me know before I bought the tickets that he didn't want to go all three days. I couldn't find anyone else to go with me so the tickets were wasted..

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

School Pictures

So, we got our school pictures back today.. I never could take a good school picture. This one isn't as bad as my 9th grade pic, but its still bad.. Oh wait, David and I are going to Memphis in May. Its 3 days of concerts and stuff. Over 60 bands. I so can't wait. It's this friday! =)