A Poem

My Father

I sit here trying to come up
with something awesome and wonderful
to say about my father. It's not hard,
for he was a great man, loved by many.
But it was not exactly easy either.
He was not always there growing up,
but he sure did try to make up for it.

He is no longer seen in our world,
yet he still walks among us.
His words will forever
touch our hearts and souls

You gave me life, and your big feet.
Not to mention your height.
Our time to say goodbye came to quickly
but I must say,
My father you will always be.
no matter where,
I know you will always look out for me.
I love you Daddy!

A Passing

December 24, 1939 - March 26, 2007

My Father passed away yesterday. It doesn't feel real. I don't know what I'm suppose to do, or how to feel. I just know it hurts alot, and I feel lost. It was too soon. All I can think about is how He made me promise he could wakl me down the isle, and now he can't. I promised him he could see his grandkids whenever he wanted, and I never had any for him to see. He was a great man, and I never took the time to get to know him more. The last time I talked to him, I was in such a hurry. If only I knew then that it would be the last time I would ever talk to him, I would of made more time.

Bad News

So shortly after my last post I got a phone call from my mom. She did not have good news. My father is not doing so well. He has not told us the truth about his health. In October when we found out about his colon cancer, he failed to mention that the cancer had spread into his chest, bowels and lymphnods(sp?).He has refused all treatment. The Doctor told him in February that he should go into hospice care. My Father refused that as well. I was told he has a few days to a few weeks, maybe a few months at best. But he is not at his best. He is getting weaker and losing so much weight. he can't hold a conversation over 2 min, if that. My Daddy is dying. I don't know what I'm suppose to do. I know I don't want to be there right now. i don't want my last memory of my Father to be him dying.. but I feel like I should be there, or something.. I don't know..

Love and a present

OK, So I have a couple things to write about.. First, Boyfriend bought me a present "just because". He got me an ipod nano. Its the perfect gift, really. Which means he has payed attention to my obsession to music. The second thing I have to write about is really big.. He told me on Tuesday afternoon that he loves me and has been falling in love with me since the day we met. It was really cute, later that night after we got home from hanging out with some friends, he looked at me and said " I'm going to give you some advice wither you like it or not. Becca I love you and you will marry me someday, you just don't know it yet.." He also told me that he was jealous of the fact that I have loved another man (I'm the first girl he has ever said those words to..). I told him that everything that I have felt in the past does not even come close to comparing to the way I feel right now. I'm actually scared to say it, but I do love you. I couldn't say it for the longest time after he said it to me. My tummy was all fluttery. He makes me so happy. What I'm feeling scares me a bit, but yet I'm filled with this feeling of peace. Does that make any sense? Anyways, that's all for now. Tootles!